Category: Forgiveness and Faith

I Want Freedom From My Past Abortion

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“I want freedom from the bondage of my abortion.”

The woman who spoke these words entered an abortion recovery group with An Even Place knowing she was forgiven by God. She has been a Christian for decades. She has a good understanding of scripture; yet each day, for decades, she would repent of her abortion.

Abortion affects us so deeply. God designed men and women to be life bearers. The command God gave in the garden was, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” What exactly are we to fill the earth with? I feel like I’m asking the stupidest question, yet in today’s society where all our roles are upside down, it bears asking. In the Lord’s command He was instructing Adam and Eve to have children and fill the earth with them; and their children were to continue to follow this command.

So when a woman who knows the Lord, knows scripture, and knows she is forgiven repents of her abortion daily for decades, I’m never surprised. Having children is the most natural and spiritual thing we can do as women. Abortion violently disrupts childbearing.

Her heart broke over her decision so much so that she was blind to the fact she wasn’t really trusting God when He said, “It is finished.” Jesus hung from the cross and paid the penalty for the sin of mankind.  Just before taking His last breath, He spoke these words. He was saying our debt was, in that moment and till the end of time, PAID COMPLETELY!

As her facilitator I could’ve told her what she could not see and it probably would have been effective. However, one thing I have learned is that when the Spirit of God reveals truth to a person, it sticks.

In the group session we were discussing chapter 2, looking at the character of God. The question before the group was, If you believe God knows everything, what is one way you can respond to that belief? The three scriptures the participants were to look up are: 1 Chron. 28:9, Psalm 32:5, and Psalm 46:10. A quick side note regarding the bible study is that the scriptures in the book are the addresses only but not the words. So participants must use their bibles to look up the verses in order to know what it says and how to answer the questions.

As there were three ladies in the group, I assigned one verse to each lady. They were to read the scripture then answer the question from the book as part of our discussion. I gave her Psalm 46:10, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ It is such a famous verse. We see it printed on coffee mugs, wall décor, and more. In the moment, however, I didn’t remember what that scripture address said. Neither did I know her version of the bible would read differently than what I just quoted. Her version reads, ‘Stop striving and know that I am God.’ Wow!

Oddly she didn’t make the connection to the striving she did nightly in her prayers to the verse nor to the question she was answering. So, I asked her to read just the first two words of the verse. When she did, her head went back and a huge smile spread across her face. The lights were coming on and we all saw the power of God do deep work in her heart. She then read the next few words, “…and know that I am God.” I asked her what she was learning.

She was able to tell us with confidence and assurance of salvation that Jesus did all the work, she can stop striving and act on that belief. I asked her how her prayers might change with this new understanding. She explained that she will now be praising God for the finished work on the cross for her sin. It was a beautiful moment.

God wasn’t finished.

In chapter 6 we focus on forgiving others for the hurts done to us. Toward the end of the chapter the question asks, “Have you asked God to forgive you for the ways you have hurt others?

Now, decades later, she was able to see how her decisions hurt her baby and the father of her baby. He didn’t find out about the pregnancy until she told him she had an abortion. While this truth was crushing to her heart, she was now positioned to receive this truth because of the release of the burden of continually repenting from chapter two.

We revisited Psalm 46:10 in that moment as I asked her how the understanding she had received from our session on chapter two applied to this new revelation. She remained confident in the work of Jesus even though she knew it would take time with God to work through this troubling revelation.

Once she was unburdened by her own sin before God, she was able to see the hurt her sin caused others. Abortion doesn’t happen in a vacuum; it impacts many people.

But God!

When we confess our sin, He is faithful for forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. The process of cleansing isn’t always a painless process. Indeed, sin is devastating to us personally and to those we hurt when we sin. God is faithful and what comfort we can have to know that not only are we are forgiven but cleansed as well.

As God Would Have It. …. One Man’s Story of Healing After an Abortion

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One thing to get started, the content we are going to talk about today may be difficult for some ears. It could fall under a PG rating: Parental Guidance or even RPG if there was one: Required Parental Guidance. The content is delicate but truthful and presented in the context that we cannot change what we do not acknowledge.  Or, as we have found in our various encounters in this ministry, change what we did not know. I fell into the “did not know” category.  However, since I am currently in the “now I know category,” I have the desire to spread the word.

To be clear, it is ok to be in the “I don’t know category” (just do not stay there). You will have a lot of company as I did. My/our commitment to you is to offer the truth as graciously as able. In some respects, it is “the rest of the story.”  For many, it is stuff we have not been told.  

Today, I want to shed light on a topic often overlooked in discussions surrounding abortion: the impact on men. While most of the discourse rightly focuses on women’s experiences and rights, it’s crucial to recognize that men, too, can be deeply affected by decisions related to abortion. I invite you to join me in exploring the often-unspoken struggles and wounds faced by men in the context of abortion. Let us delve into this important conversation with empathy and understanding.

For every abortion, a man is involved. I am one of those men. At the time of the abortion in my 20’s, I had bought into the narratives and justifications of the time, some of which are still in play today of “it not being convenient, we weren’t married, what would our parents or friends say?”  Plus, and, after all, it was not a child.  Over time through maturing emotionally and spiritually, I became an abortion-wounded man. What do I mean by that? The realization of it was not the blob of tissue but indeed a child. My wife and I had 3 great kids but I realized we really had 4. A nagging guilt was beginning to grow. 

As God would have it, shortly after this nagging guilt continued to grow, I was asked to help at a pregnancy center in some sort of fundraiser around 2002.  I did not know what a pregnancy center was, but I immediately thought about my abortion and figured it would be a way to atone for the guilt.  In 2005, I moved to The Woodlands where a friend was volunteering for a pregnancy center and said they were looking for men volunteers. Oh boy!! An even better opportunity to atone. I had no idea how that would really work out.

During the volunteer interview, I was asked, if I had abortion experience and if I did, had I reconciled the experience. I did not know what “to be reconciled” meant, but it was a requirement to go through a post-abortion study to address that past. As God would have it, this particular center had a post abortion healing group for women and kind of a program for men.  Their program is called “C.A.R.E.”(Confidential Abortion Recovery and Education). 

I went through a post abortion study “for men” led by the CARE leader. It was a 10-week study focusing on who God is, with a strong emphasis on forgiveness and looking back to the event. Later, I had the opportunity to take several men through the same study. Through that, I realized that study was not particularly men oriented. That prompted a thorough search for men specific, abortion-wound recovery material.

Most I found were written, first as women’s recovery tools, and then somewhat edited to be, or claimed to be for men. That search led me to write what became the book, Healing the Father, Second Edition, which is essentially what I wished I had been told before my abortion involvement and what I did to gain a peace with that past. Another result, as God would have it, my experience with AA prompted a similar writing style and construction as found in AA’s “Big Book” a personal story, stories of other’s healing journey, and actions going forward supporting their sobriety.

I included how I came to decide on abortion (my story). I interviewed health professionals who described the women’s physiology of being pregnant and examples of resulting behavior. I included men’s experiences and women’s experiences. Most importantly for men, (who like to fix things) I included specific actions I took and as a hint, actions they can take to reach and maintain their peace with that past. I even included a list of books to read that together support forgiveness and peace, a list of songs supporting a new way of daily actions, and a checklist of 31 questions to determine their current peace journey.

The book was published in 2018. I had no expectations of how it would be received.  But with the knowledge there were well over 40,000,000 men in the US at that time who would have their own abortion experience, I felt there was a deep need.

About 2020, I was asked by a pregnancy center in Florida with an active abortion recovery emphasis if I could help them with their overflow. I agreed and since have worked with about 200 men from all over the US, some in Canada, New Zealand, and France.  It became a test of what I wrote to see if it worked for others.  For the vast majority of men who have done it, this approach has worked. It is of note that France recently made abortion a constitutional right as there are those in the US who desire the same in our constitution.

How did I decide to pursue an abortion then and how is it relevant today?

We were in our 20s when she became pregnant. We weren’t married or even engaged. We both were in school and didn’t have real jobs. When she told me she was pregnant, my first reaction was the thought that “we need to abort.” I had bought into a lot of the justification that is repeated today:

    • “It’s not convenient for us.”
    • “We aren’t married.”
    • “What would our parents say?”
    • “What would our friends say?”

In short, it was all about me, not either of us.

The decision to abort was made rather quickly. It’s just what one did in such a circumstance… or so I thought as “the world” was telling me. I followed what “the world” was saying. 

My focus was all about me. I did not embrace the reality that there was a person we were talking about. 

Growing up in the ‘50s and ‘60s, I attended a Protestant church on a weekly basis. I was “churched” but not taught… and certainly not taught God’s idea of when life begins. 

I had never been exposed to Jeremiah 1:5:

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world. 

I had never heard Psalm 139:13:

 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

At the time, abortion just wasn’t a topic anywhere… especially not in church. I don’t recall being taught when life began from a Biblical perspective. 

Neither of us understood or knew the potential for emotional fallout that would result from having an abortion. It took me a while to figure out there were emotional consequences. In fact, this understanding didn’t set in until we had children of our own nearly 20 years later. Through maturing emotionally and spiritually and finding out it was a hurt I had carried all that time; I began to understand we had aborted an actual person. When I came to the full realization it was a person, guilt began to creep in. I had three blessings of great kids, and realized I really had four. This discovery was becoming an emotional burden. 

Again, as God would have it, I deal with a significant number who have the same or similar background. When I share my experience, a “You too?” bond develops.

What do these guys say in the first conversation? They often mimic my abortion involvement. As well, there is significant consistency in their guilt and regret. Some had recent experience. Most parallel my trajectory in that the guilt and regret surfaced later. 

None knew how to address their guilt, regret and for some, shame. Nor did they readily know where to turn to address it.  My referrals come from pregnancy centers who have a men’s focus. It appears, there is an increased awareness for the men in the abortion process. I so wish it was a more common topic and I am thankful this church would embrace the conversation. My focus I share with others in the abortion-wound healing arena is two-fold:  helping abortion-wounded men find their peace and then spreading the word that there is a large abortion-wounded population among us. 

So, what is the population we are talking about who might be termed abortion-wounded? Since Roe v Wade in 1973, and, according to The National Right to Life.org Tenth Annual Report January 23, 2023, based on data from the CDC and the Guttmacher Institute, the estimate is  64,443,118 abortions.  Boiling those numbers down to women and men, those with multiple abortions, both men and women and an estimate of who would still be alive today, it is conservatively estimated that nearly 1 out of 5 adult Americans today are post-abortive. I am often corrected that it is closer to 1 out of 4. So, let’s use 1 out of 4.  The next time you are at a large event, imagine every 4th person standing up.  That is the statistical population we are describing.

How does it affect them? To be honest, for some, not at all. 

For others, their guilt and regret begins to creep in after maturing emotionally and spiritually as did mine.  Some of the emotions triggered by guilt and regret can be anger, compulsive behavior or displacement activity, flashback to the abortion, self-condemnation, and a host of other dysfunctional behaviors. Much of their day-to-day life will mimic PTSD where they tend to relive the event and avoid situations that trigger memories of the event. It can lead to a sense of lessoned self-worth. At some point, they can reach their tipping point in regretting their decision and seek help or want to seek help. And that is where we can enter the picture.  We have been there and come back and welcome the opportunity to help another gain peace from that past.

Our/my approach is gentle yet resolute. I personally don’t tell a guy what to do but share with him what I did to gain my peace that is found ultimately in the miracle of forgiveness offered by our Savior Jesus Christ. 

So, thank you for this platform and opportunity to share.  Our hope is I have shared some information not commonly discussed but prevalent in our society today. I hope you will begin to share this information with your children as appropriate.  We hope you encourage your pastors and counselors to seek out information on the abortion-wounded among us.  We/I am available to be called on us to help those hurting with the abortion-wound they are carrying.  There are many.

Written by:

Chris Rainey

Author of Healing the Father

Does the Mercy of God End at Abortion?

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“You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it!”

Have you ever heard this or thought this about yourself? Is that God’s heart toward sin?

If it were His heart, He’d have told Adam and Eve, in the garden, “Sorry kids, you made your bed by listening to the serpent, did what I told you not to do, now you must lay in that bed, good luck with that.”

Imagine if God actually said this, where would we be today?

God didn’t reprimand them and walk away. He provided atonement for them in the form of an animal sacrifice. They once were naked with shame. The shame of their nakedness was the consequence of their sin (disobedience). They tried to cover themselves with fig leaves. Can you imagine how scratchy that would’ve felt?

God presented the first sacrifice in order to cover their nakedness. An unmerciful God would’ve let them suffer in their fig leaves, suffer in their confusion, suffer endlessly until they did something to change His mind. This is the way of other gods in this world.

Not so with the Lord of lords, this is not the heart or way of the God of the universe.

He made them soft clothing. He understood that their nakedness would be a constant reminder of their sin and disobedience. He knew nakedness would cause constant shame.

Now, did they have reminders? Yes! They had to now wear clothes, they were banished from the garden to toil with weeds and thorns from the ground, and most notably their relationship with God would change dramatically. God knew how the changes would affect them so He created soft, tender clothing that would also remind them of His grace, of His love, of His mercy, and of His promises. As a result of their sin, they now needed a Savior from their condition. He foretold that such a Savior would come. A Savior who would pay the ultimate sacrifice to free them from their sinful condition.

As a result of this, generation after generation looked for this Savior.

Today we know Him as Jesus.

He lived a sinless life, came with the purpose of being our atoning sacrifice so all who look to Him would/will be saved.

Your sin is not too big for the saving love of Christ. He said, “All who are weary and heavy-laden come to Me and I will give you rest. For My burden is easy and My yoke is light.” He wasn’t speaking to those who are laboring for His name, who “have it altogether”. He came for the sick (the spiritually sick person) not the well person. Sin makes us sick.

Have you had an abortion and now it makes you sick? Literally? It also makes you sick spiritually. And not just the sin of abortion. The sin of gossip, fornication, lust, lying, pride, murder, being unthankful. There is no sin bigger than another in God’s eyes.

All are equal at the cross. There is no man on this earth or has ever been on this earth that has lived a sinless, perfect life except Jesus. He came for you and me.

After three abortions I told myself, “You’ve made your bed, you have to lay in it.” I resigned to a miserable life and existence. Then Jesus entered my life, Jesus helped me see what I was blind to previously, Jesus extended His hand to pull me out of the pit I made my bed in. He had pity on me because I was so wretched. My abortions weren’t the only sin I had committed in my life. There were many: sexual promiscuity, drinking till I couldn’t remember things, lying, stealing, gossiping, hatefulness, ungratefulness, and the list could go on and on.

 

I was a wretch!

 

The good news is the in the amazing grace of Jesus Christ. He paid the debt I owed. Do you know the song?

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I’m found, was blind but now I see.

Yes, I was/am the wretch in the song. That truth no longer brings me disparity; it brings me great joy. Because I know God’s mercy does not have an end. I know this because when I made my bed in hell He was there. He came for me.

He saved me! And He wants to save you.

Salvation is for everyone who calls on the name of Jesus. Call on His name today and see the miracle of new life He will place in your heart. God’s mercy extends to all who call on His name even to those who choose abortion.

 

 

How Can I Forgive Myself After Abortion?

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“I know God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself.” This is the phrase I hear most often from women who are Christians and have experienced abortion. What is it about abortion that leaves many feeling like it is the unforgivable sin? Keep reading to find out more.

Is Abortion the Unforgivable Sin?

The enemy has branded abortion as the unforgivable sin. Many believe this lie and think that they have to live with the shame of abortion for the rest of their lives. It is their self-imposed penance.

Thank goodness God offers grace! Grace is an undeserved favor. When God lavishes His grace on us, of course we don’t deserve it. But He does it anyway! Why is it that we can accept the grace He offers to save us, to bring us into His family, but when the same grace says we are forgiven from abortion, we can’t accept it? Scripture tells us God’s plan for dealing with sin, and it is really good news for us! We just have to willingly accept it.

There Has to Be More to It, Right?

Someone might say, “I understand God has a plan for redeeming my sin, but I am too far gone. It won’t work for me.” They think there must be more to it than just accepting God’s forgiveness.

What they are really saying is, “I am waiting to feel forgiven, then I will know I am forgiven.” This “waiting to feel forgiven” has no basis in Scripture. Nowhere in the Bible does it say you will be forgiven when you feel forgiven. Instead, it offers a formula authored by God for forgiveness: repent, confess, and believe. That is the key to forgiveness!

If we wait to “feel forgiven” for our abortions, most of us will never move on. We must “walk in forgiveness by faith,” and our feelings will eventually follow. 

How Do We Walk in Forgiveness?

In order to walk in forgiveness, we must realize that what we may be feeling is not true guilt from God, but shame. Guilt is when the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin so that we can repent and turn back to God. It is healthy for believers to experience guilt because we are all sinners, and it drives us back into the arms of God. However, when we repent of our sins but still have guilty feelings, that is false guilt or shame, which isn’t from the Lord. And since it isn’t from the Lord, but from the enemy, we should recognize it as condemnation and refuse to accept it! We can scorn the shame, just as Christ did on the cross (Hebrews 12:2).

Our mindset changes when we realize the difference between true and false guilt. We see that condemnation is from the enemy, and we are to rebuke it. We understand that abortion is not the unforgivable sin. We recognize that God doesn’t want us to remain in a prison of shame after abortion and that He made a plan to deal with it long before we had our abortions. His plans are perfect, and we can trust Him!

Written by

Sara Hamilton

Real Options Abortion Recovery

Roartx.com

Shame is a Bully

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Imagine you are at the playground with a little toddler aged child. You help her onto the swing and push her high, but not too high. You get on the merry-go-round and spin with her until you are dizzy. That merry-go-round didn’t affect her at all. She is off and running as soon at the ride stops. You, on the other hand, are still swirling about. You choose to sit and watch her play in the sand or chase other children while you take a break to allow your vision and brain a moment to stop spinning.

A larger child, obviously too large to play with your sweet little one, approaches her. You see the larger child begin to bully and shame your child, but you are still spinning so you wait another second or two hoping the bully will tire of your child and go about his business. He remains and your child cowers, she is unable to stand against this giant person.

There is no more time to wait for your world to stop spinning; you need to step in. The bully is bigger than your child but significantly smaller than you. It will only take you stepping behind and towering over him. He will flee and you will swoop your precious little one into the safety of your arms and head home.

Hebrews 12:2

…looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Did you catch that?

Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame. The bully in our lives often lives in our minds, whispering sinister half-truths, relishing our demise. Shame is a bully. Often, we fear shame from others, but the reality is we spend a great deal of time shaming ourselves, especially those of us who have abortions in our past. When we sin against God, and abortion is sin, shame enters our world. Shame whispers to us, “You are worthless, look what you did!”

Jesus took our sin upon Himself at the cross. He did it out of love. He despises the shame our sin causes us. He scorned (thinks little of) it so much He paid the price of our sin debt; He the perfect sinless, sacrifice for our sin before a holy God.

When shame bullies us, Jesus stands behind it, just as the mom in the story above, and shame has to flee. Truth and lies don’t mix. Light and dark repel one another.

But did you catch the joy in that verse? For the joy that was set before Him. What or who is His joy? We are!  You and me! Shame may be a bully, but Jesus is bigger. He came and despised our shame, standing in the gap so we can have a relationship with Him. And this is the good news we all long for.

One of the greatest ways to heal from past abortions is learning to put shame in its place. If you are saved, call yourself a Christian, profess Jesus as your Lord then all that is needed is that you believe what the bible says is true. It is hard work to change your thought patterns but take it from me, once you do, you’ll discover, as I did, that there is very little shame from others. Most of the shame you endure is concocted in your own mind or whispered from the Deceiver.

You can learn how to overcome shame and be free. Read that post and/or contact us. We will help you journey to shame-free living where there is healing and peace.

Trust in Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the life. The truth shall set you free!

Abortion Healing at 60

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Women, ages 60 and over, are one of the hardest age groups to reach for healing from an abortion. It is a fearful thing for these women to come forward and bring to light something that happened decades ago. These women have deeply buried their abortion, and for many years they have tried to simply forget about it. The idea of looking at this old wound is frightening. All regret. All carry shame. None of them want to face this sin. Any sin but this sin. Abortion takes our children, our babies. It takes from us what we are created to do – shelter and nurture the babies in our wombs until birth. Most women who have gone through an abortion healing group will tell you that they now see they should have gotten up and walked out and endured whatever pressure was waiting them because their baby was worth it. But – abortion was the choice they made.

That is what Lady K was facing as she entered my group. She didn’t understand why she needed to talk about her abortion. She didn’t think it was necessary to examine something that she thought was no longer affecting her life.

As we approached a homework that involved writing a letter to their baby, Lady K became more subdued and more introspective. The reading of the letters would take place at the next session, and it is one of the most sacred times in our group sessions. The reading of these letters is intimate, personal, heartbreaking, and freeing all at the same time. At that session, Lady K was honest to admit that she didn’t write her letter. However, as each of the other ladies read their letters, she committed to writing hers before our next session. I knew it would be beautiful, as they all are.

During the next week, she sent me her baby card information. This information tells me what to put on the certificate for life for each baby. The year and month Lady K listed caught my attention as I realized two things. First, it had been 53 years since her abortion and the struggle was still evident. Second, I realized her baby would have been born the month before I was. My breath caught in my chest – what joy, oh, the sweetness of our Lord! I replied to her email to share with her what an amazing privilege it was to be the one God chose to take her on this journey! I shared that I was only a month younger than her daughter would have been. It still brings me to tears as I consider the honor bestowed upon me to be a woman of her daughter’s age and to be the one helping in the healing of her mother.

Lady K walked away from shame in this group. She embraced motherhood lost, she embraced God’s truth, she embraced a new outlook on her life. Lady K is forgiven and set free.

Humbled by Reality

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But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever. I will praise You forever, because You have done it, and in the presence of Your saints I will wait on Your name, for it is good. Psalm 52:8-9

David, writing about Doeg, confidently says he will trust. Trust must be a choice not based on circumstances or feelings. Actually, and more likely, it will be a choice despite them. Do our feelings and circumstances ever fully align? Or do circumstances create opportunities that bring us to a low place where our only response is to trust? Yes!

During the good times, pride mingles with belief and trust which subtly transforms our hearts. Like the frog in the water analogy, we are cooked before we know we are in danger; pride goes before a fall. If we had continued in a lowly state, there would not be much room to fall.

I believe a tactic of the devil is to bring us to a high place as he did with Jesus during His wilderness experience. From this high place, should pride be grasped, we eventually will stumble, trip, and come crashing down. It is here, at the bottom and humbled by reality, where God meets us to lift us out of the pride heap and put us back on the path of righteousness.  It is in this heap we will declare our trust in God’s mercy. Our circumstances and our emotions are ruinous, but God is good, and His mercy endures forever.

A man’s pride will bring him low; but the humble in spirit will retain honor. Proverbs 29;23

He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in is season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. Psalm 1:3

Matthew 4:5-6; Proverbs 8:13, 11:2, 13:10, 16:18; James 4:6,10; 1 Peter 5:5-6; Is 51:3

#humbled #abortion #liftedup

Will I Ever Overcome the Shame of Abortion

Posted on by Mindy L

I once struggled with vast amounts of shame in regard to my past abortions. Yes, that’s right I said abortions…plural. I do not speak about this because I’m proud rather it’s just the opposite. Knowing three of my children are not here on this earth breaks my heart. They will never get to grow up, do amazing things, or experience all the wonder of this world. I will not meet their friends, their spouses, or their children (my grandchildren). When I consider all that is missing in my life because I chose abortion 30 plus years ago, it makes me very sad. Along with sadness, shame attempts to creep in and take hold of me but I know how to combat shame where once it overpowered me. I know how to keep it from clutching its boney claws into my heart. I am able to keep shame in its place because I know truth.

The Truth!

Shame is a bully.

If I didn’t know Jesus, shame would’ve consumed me long ago. Even after knowing Jesus, shame had a strong and deep hold on me. Shame is from the pit of hell and so is abortion for that matter.  It took me years to identify I was still carrying around shame from my abortions. Shame subtly whispers half-truths into your mind and ‘little’ lies stay under the radar of truth. To be perfectly honest, shame stayed under the radar in my life because of two things, 1) I didn’t know Jesus and His word and 2) I wasn’t sharing my story.

I read the bible a lot. I served in church and outside of church. I was in bible studies and prayer groups, but I didn’t allow the word to be applied to my life or sink deep into my heart. I didn’t take my thoughts captive unto the obedience of Christ. More precisely, I didn’t cast down arguments (those in my head) and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled (2 Cor. 10:5-6).

The number one thing that will squash the shame that takes up residence after an abortion is taking your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. What exactly does that mean and how does that look in a person’s life? It took me years to really ask myself this question. As I said, I read the bible, but I didn’t pause long enough to really meditate and ask questions; specifically ask God questions about His word.

So, to be able to take your thoughts captive you must know which other thoughts might replace those that are now captive. You could think ‘pie in the sky’ thoughts like, “I’m so beautiful”, or “you’ve got this girl”, or “girl power” or whatever other flakey, meaningless phrase is being doled out.

Those phrases have no power. If you want real power GET IN THE WORD OF GOD!

The more you read, the more you know truth; the more truth you ingest, the more you become transformed by the renewing of your mind (Rom 12:2). The more these truths renew you, the more you become like Christ and the better able you become in wielding the spiritual weapons Christ offers you (see Eph 6).

Now, this is all well and good unless you are like me. My thoughts overwhelm me to the point of depression and toxic thinking and all of that pours out onto others around me. It’s brutal and vicious. God doesn’t expect us to do life on our own. In fact, He knows we can ONLY live a victorious life WITH Him. So, He wrote His word for us to read and learn and grow and be transformed. He also is near to us.

Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:7-8a

Call on Him and He will answer you, He will help you take your thoughts captive. In those moments of nasty, debilitating thinking pull out your phone, open your bible app and read a psalm and pray it over yourself. It pleases God to hear His word being spoken with a genuine heart.

The second thing that will help overcome the shame of your abortion is sharing your story.

Terrifying I know.

I’ve been through all the battles of not wanting to share my story. As I mentioned, I am not proud of my abortions but when I share with someone about the great things God has done in my life it gives them courage to talk about their stories.  The more your story is shared the less emotional pain abortion will have on you. You will never forget your baby or what you did but you will forget the emotions and feeling abortion brings and shame will lose its slimy grip on you.

Where do you begin? Get a bible or your bible app and begin to read a little every day.

Every day is the key.

It doesn’t have to be a lot. It can be a chapter or a few verses and begin wherever you wish.  God’s word is alive and active and will cut to the heart (in a good way) to cleanse you and clear out all the junk a past abortion has brought.

Then sign up for an abortion healing group. These recovery groups are a safe place to share your story, learn about other’s stories, and grow in your understanding of who God is.

Christ died in your place to satisfy the debt of your sin. Three days later He rose to life! That is the life He desires you live, and He wants you to be free to shout His story from the mountaintops. As you read and as you share you will discover that your story is actually His story, and His story is really yours.

Freedom waits!

Learn more about our virtual abortion recovery groups by checking out all our healing services.

I Am Not My Abortion

Posted on by Mindy L

Lady M came to our two-day intensive visibly heavy laden and in need of rest. As her story unfolded, we learned she hadn’t cried over the loss of her baby in 39 years. The dam broke in session 2 as she read her letter acknowledging her part in her abortion experience. Then in the next session another participant made the comment, “Sin is an action you commit, not who you are.” With a sudden force as light bursting through the darkness she hung her head in her hands and sobbed, saying repeatedly, “That’s it! That’s it!”

Group members gave her some grace space to process as we sat in silence. Regaining her composure, she shared with us that for the past 39 years she has lived as though her abortion was who she was. She has suffered many illnesses and has been riddled with anxiety to the point that she has been on work-disability for some time.

Is it possible Lady M had made herself sick due to the stress of living with her choice and believing she was horrific? She is an example of how it is possible to be forgiven, but not healed. Although a believer, she practiced negative self-talk, telling herself healing and forgiveness was for others, but not for her. She had clung to Jesus all these years begging for His forgiveness, but not fully embracing the gift of forgiveness God had extended to her. As a result, anxiety and illness were her constant companions.

Lady M expressed to the group that day, “I’m not abortion, my abortion was an event in my life.”

The act of abortion is horrific; horrific is not who Lady M is. Abortion is an act of sin, not a person’s identity. Lady M’s eyes have now been opened, and she has received the gift of forgiveness. She will need continued prayer support to walk out her faith, as she may struggle with negative thoughts, lies, and arrows from the evil one. She and others like her need our prayers to help them put on their armor and engage in spiritual combat so they can stand in truth.

Some reading this might want to enter a debate over salvation – DON’T!

Simply rejoice!

The prodigal son’s father waited with expectation for the son to return. When he did, the father killed the fatted calf and held a celebration feast. Will you join in the celebration, or will you sulk with the brother who never left?

I’m headed to the feast of joyous celebration; I hope you are inclined to come along!

Receiving Love Through A Prayer Partner During a Post-Abortion Healing Group

Posted on by Mindy L

Tammy,

Thank you for your dear notes of encouragement. Aside from the pure power of love from a stranger and the living Word, the fact that you could extend yourself like that to what most people find uncomfortable, it had a value distinct from our peer support.

In our review session, we unanimously were touched by the contribution during sessions by the one person who was not post abortive. She represented to us all we wish the Church to be. We received love and wisdom through her active listening, her compassion, her connection with us through a personal life testimony. It had nothing to do with abortion but everything to do with being broken and restored. She was able to establish an important connection through her humility. Her insights were spot on impactful, painting a picture of a God who sees us differently than how we have been seeing ourselves.

Our (post abortive)peers were essential to corroborating the reality of our starting points and what happened inside. The Church was represented by this very busy mom with all kinds of life complications, and there was you pulling for us as well. The Church confirms Christ’s Word and His love through a redeemed human expression. It’s His design, that persons can find healing through His truth and love poured into the saints.

It is no secret that we the Church have a long way to go. If post abortive Christians cannot receive acknowledgment from their own Body, how discouraging is that for the unsaved? I am so excited about servants like yourself, who are willing to purposefully reach out and take the Love of Christ to this huge and underserved population. It takes great love to serve a population that is hard to understand. It takes the Holy Spirit. It is life changing. I want you to know how special you are.

My broader vision is that in response to this love, many will be telling their stories and blowing up the myth that abortion is good for women. The other myth is that the Church/teaching of Christ does not care for women (insert eye roll from Mary Magdalen). I hear people say my case is rare, that is the current propaganda, their only card.

Caring for women injured by abortion can be more effective than trying to battle media bias and legislation. You cannot unhear or alter a multitude of non-digitized human voices. Let the opposition live in the airwaves. We live and move in community, and that is reality.

Thank you, thank you. Your prayers enabled me to complete this work. Thank you for showing me that healing love. Your work is noted.

Gratefully,

Kat