Author: Mindy L

Why Didn’t God Stop Me From Having An Abortion?

Posted on by Mindy L

The “Why didn’t God stop me from having an abortion?” question is often asked by those who know that God is sovereign over all things. And when the question is asked, it is because God knew that.

  1. The abortion of my baby would lead to depression and possibly suicidal ideation and attempts.
  2. The abortion would leave me sterile and unable to become pregnant again or contribute to other physical health injuries/issues.
  3. The abortion would have a negative impact on my relationship with the father of my baby or would destroy my relationship with the father of my baby.
  4. Thoughts of my abortion would lead me to becoming addicted to (fill in the blank) in order to numb the pain.
  5. My relationship with subsequent children would be affected by my abortion.
  6. My abortion would lead to feelings of guilt and shame.
  7. My abortion would leave me overwhelmed with grief over the loss of my child….

Because God is sovereign and knows everything that will take place after a woman aborts her baby, it becomes easy to see him as a tyrant in this situation. After all, God is all powerful and all knowing, and he is supposed to care about people and want what is best for them. Aborting the baby may have solved the immediate issue of an unplanned pregnancy, but the fallout was just as unplanned.

Often when the question is asked, there is no consideration of the ways God may have tried to intervene to stop the abortion. As we look at the ways in which God has worked when it comes to the death of another, we do not see a clear pattern unfolding. The very first death recorded in the Bible was Cain killing his brother Abel. God did not stop it. But he warned Cain in Genesis 4:7 (ESV) before it happened that “…sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”  (Emphasis mine). Or, how about the edict of the Pharaoh in Egypt that called for the killing of the male babies of the Hebrews, but the life of Moses was spared when the midwives did not do as ordered. And even Moses, whose life was spared, would end up killing an Egyptian. 

Sure, God could have spoken in a loud audible voice and say “STOP! DON’T KILL YOUR BABY!” He could have encouraged the baby’s father to plead with the mother not to go through with the abortion, knowing it would have made all the difference in the world. He could have shut down the abortion clinic knowing it would be impossible for the woman to go elsewhere. There are many miraculous interventions that could have kept a woman from going through with the abortion. But how many of the non-miraculous ways did God use to warn against abortion that were ignored? What about 

    • I know this is wrong and I should not go through with it.
    • The waiting period that allowed for a change of mind.
    • The cost.
    • The pro-life signs and advocates imploring against it.

There are no clear answers to why God did not stop a woman from having an abortion. But God, in his sovereignty, was not surprised when she went through with it. 

It is clear though that God does love and care for people, even those who abort their children. He demonstrated his care by sending his son to pay the penalty for the sins of all humankind. Before the first person walked the earth, God planned the death of his son to forgive humankind of their sin (including abortion) and save them from eternal punishment for sin. So, when we consider that he did not spare his own son from death, we really should hesitate to question why he did not stop an abortion. Also, it cannot be overlooked that all humankind has been given free will by God to choose to do or not to do something. While it is easy to shift the blame to God when he could have stopped an abortion (or any other wrong for that matter), ultimately, the responsibility lies with humankind who can choose to stop an abortion.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article written specifically for those healing from abortion. Sometimes, an abortion experience can create intense emotions that you may not feel equipped to manage on your own. If you are new to a healing journey or want to talk to an experienced advocate, please visit

https://www.memorialfortheunborn.org/resources/healing-programs. If you are thinking or planning to harm yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) for immediate help.

National Memorial for the Unborn

Will I Ever Overcome the Shame of Abortion

Posted on by Mindy L

I once struggled with vast amounts of shame in regard to my past abortions. Yes, that’s right I said abortions…plural. I do not speak about this because I’m proud rather it’s just the opposite. Knowing three of my children are not here on this earth breaks my heart. They will never get to grow up, do amazing things, or experience all the wonder of this world. I will not meet their friends, their spouses, or their children (my grandchildren). When I consider all that is missing in my life because I chose abortion 30 plus years ago, it makes me very sad. Along with sadness, shame attempts to creep in and take hold of me but I know how to combat shame where once it overpowered me. I know how to keep it from clutching its boney claws into my heart. I am able to keep shame in its place because I know truth.

The Truth!

Shame is a bully.

If I didn’t know Jesus, shame would’ve consumed me long ago. Even after knowing Jesus, shame had a strong and deep hold on me. Shame is from the pit of hell and so is abortion for that matter.  It took me years to identify I was still carrying around shame from my abortions. Shame subtly whispers half-truths into your mind and ‘little’ lies stay under the radar of truth. To be perfectly honest, shame stayed under the radar in my life because of two things, 1) I didn’t know Jesus and His word and 2) I wasn’t sharing my story.

I read the bible a lot. I served in church and outside of church. I was in bible studies and prayer groups, but I didn’t allow the word to be applied to my life or sink deep into my heart. I didn’t take my thoughts captive unto the obedience of Christ. More precisely, I didn’t cast down arguments (those in my head) and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled (2 Cor. 10:5-6).

The number one thing that will squash the shame that takes up residence after an abortion is taking your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. What exactly does that mean and how does that look in a person’s life? It took me years to really ask myself this question. As I said, I read the bible, but I didn’t pause long enough to really meditate and ask questions; specifically ask God questions about His word.

So, to be able to take your thoughts captive you must know which other thoughts might replace those that are now captive. You could think ‘pie in the sky’ thoughts like, “I’m so beautiful”, or “you’ve got this girl”, or “girl power” or whatever other flakey, meaningless phrase is being doled out.

Those phrases have no power. If you want real power GET IN THE WORD OF GOD!

The more you read, the more you know truth; the more truth you ingest, the more you become transformed by the renewing of your mind (Rom 12:2). The more these truths renew you, the more you become like Christ and the better able you become in wielding the spiritual weapons Christ offers you (see Eph 6).

Now, this is all well and good unless you are like me. My thoughts overwhelm me to the point of depression and toxic thinking and all of that pours out onto others around me. It’s brutal and vicious. God doesn’t expect us to do life on our own. In fact, He knows we can ONLY live a victorious life WITH Him. So, He wrote His word for us to read and learn and grow and be transformed. He also is near to us.

Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:7-8a

Call on Him and He will answer you, He will help you take your thoughts captive. In those moments of nasty, debilitating thinking pull out your phone, open your bible app and read a psalm and pray it over yourself. It pleases God to hear His word being spoken with a genuine heart.

The second thing that will help overcome the shame of your abortion is sharing your story.

Terrifying I know.

I’ve been through all the battles of not wanting to share my story. As I mentioned, I am not proud of my abortions but when I share with someone about the great things God has done in my life it gives them courage to talk about their stories.  The more your story is shared the less emotional pain abortion will have on you. You will never forget your baby or what you did but you will forget the emotions and feeling abortion brings and shame will lose its slimy grip on you.

Where do you begin? Get a bible or your bible app and begin to read a little every day.

Every day is the key.

It doesn’t have to be a lot. It can be a chapter or a few verses and begin wherever you wish.  God’s word is alive and active and will cut to the heart (in a good way) to cleanse you and clear out all the junk a past abortion has brought.

Then sign up for an abortion healing group. These recovery groups are a safe place to share your story, learn about other’s stories, and grow in your understanding of who God is.

Christ died in your place to satisfy the debt of your sin. Three days later He rose to life! That is the life He desires you live, and He wants you to be free to shout His story from the mountaintops. As you read and as you share you will discover that your story is actually His story, and His story is really yours.

Freedom waits!

Learn more about our virtual abortion recovery groups by checking out all our healing services.

I Am Not My Abortion

Posted on by Mindy L

Lady M came to our two-day intensive visibly heavy laden and in need of rest. As her story unfolded, we learned she hadn’t cried over the loss of her baby in 39 years. The dam broke in session 2 as she read her letter acknowledging her part in her abortion experience. Then in the next session another participant made the comment, “Sin is an action you commit, not who you are.” With a sudden force as light bursting through the darkness she hung her head in her hands and sobbed, saying repeatedly, “That’s it! That’s it!”

Group members gave her some grace space to process as we sat in silence. Regaining her composure, she shared with us that for the past 39 years she has lived as though her abortion was who she was. She has suffered many illnesses and has been riddled with anxiety to the point that she has been on work-disability for some time.

Is it possible Lady M had made herself sick due to the stress of living with her choice and believing she was horrific? She is an example of how it is possible to be forgiven, but not healed. Although a believer, she practiced negative self-talk, telling herself healing and forgiveness was for others, but not for her. She had clung to Jesus all these years begging for His forgiveness, but not fully embracing the gift of forgiveness God had extended to her. As a result, anxiety and illness were her constant companions.

Lady M expressed to the group that day, “I’m not abortion, my abortion was an event in my life.”

The act of abortion is horrific; horrific is not who Lady M is. Abortion is an act of sin, not a person’s identity. Lady M’s eyes have now been opened, and she has received the gift of forgiveness. She will need continued prayer support to walk out her faith, as she may struggle with negative thoughts, lies, and arrows from the evil one. She and others like her need our prayers to help them put on their armor and engage in spiritual combat so they can stand in truth.

Some reading this might want to enter a debate over salvation – DON’T!

Simply rejoice!

The prodigal son’s father waited with expectation for the son to return. When he did, the father killed the fatted calf and held a celebration feast. Will you join in the celebration, or will you sulk with the brother who never left?

I’m headed to the feast of joyous celebration; I hope you are inclined to come along!

Testimony Juliene Mulani: Finding Healing from Abortion in the Unexpected

Posted on by Mindy L

It’s good. My first choice would always be to do a Bible Study in person. I realized that I I had never actually said that I love my baby out loud. It was very cathartic. I was required to take this course so I could volunteer but found it very helpful & cathartic. Mindy was incredibly professional. She allowed me to go at my own pace, and explore my emotions, & feelings while keeping us on schedule.

Testimony C.N. – Finding Healing After Abortion in Community and Christ

Posted on by Mindy L

Was such a time of deep healing. I felt very safe, loved, and understood. Very loving, and open group of women sharing became easier with each meeting. Healing came along with authenticity and the amazing in depth bible study. I’ve healed so much. (On facilitators) Worked incredibly, seamlessly well together. They were prepared, well organized, and incredibly compassionate.

Testimony K.B.P. – From Pain to Peace: Rediscovering God After Abortion

Posted on by Mindy L

Very encouraging and uplifting loved your leadership Mindy – very gentle and comforting.

My group experience was amazing. It allowed me to open up and realize my feelings were valid. I was able to see the pain I was feeling was normal and I was not alone in this. I was able to find my faith again and my love for God has grown tremendous. I was able to learn so much on how the Lords word can be so healing.

Testimony J.W. – Abortion, Guilt, and Grace: How God Set Me Free and Made Me New

Posted on by Mindy L

I just completed the Forgiven and Set Free Bible study with a small group that Mindy lead.

I came into the group with a feeling of brokenness, sadness and guilt that I had managed to bury for years based on my decisions as a youth. Through the 9 weeks we read plenty of scripture which showed us just how much God loves us and how he wants to heal us and live a joyful life. The study had such an impact on me. At times it wasn’t easy, in fact I almost gave up. I had a soul filled hard conversation with God and He showed up. The next morning it was so clear to me that I didn’t want to give up on God or me. This was something I wanted and needed to do.

Our group became closer and we shared in our sorrow with plenty of tears, but also shared in each other’s growth. By far the best and most life changing Bible study I’ve ever been involved in. God spoke to me in ways I’d never heard before. I feel like I’m a different person. I’m one of Gods children…a new creation and I know I’m forgiven and actually feel set free from the torment I had put myself through for all those years. I am a work in progress and this study encouraged me to have a closer relationship with the Lord. Highly recommend!

Testimony J.M. – Abortion Healing Through Virtual Connection and Compassion

Posted on by Mindy L

“I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about the virtual format – would we bond as a group? would I feel connected to the other participants? would I get distracted being online rather than in person?

YES, we bonded as a group. Mindy made sure that we had time to get to know each other.

Yes, I felt connected to the other participants. Mindy did a fantastic job of making us comfortable sharing some of the roughest parts of our lives. Her compassion was apparent in the way she tenderly asked the hard questions, allowing us time to process but not shying away from the issues.

No – I was not distracted. Mindy kept the conversation going (always allowing space when someone needed to ‘take a breath’), her knowledge of the Scriptures helped bring me to a deeper understanding of God’s Word.

This is a life changing Bible study and I am grateful for Mindy’s care for each of us as we walked this path to healing.”

Testimony D.O. – Healing from Multiple Abortions: God’s Life-Changing Grace

Posted on by Mindy L

Although I experienced several abortions decades ago, going through Forgiven and Set Free with Mindy was truly healing for me. I addressed all of my abortions for the very first time from a point of healing. I started the program in my basement, as I did not even want my husband to hear what was being discussed. By the middle of the study I had come up from the basement to the first floor of my house. I did not realize the extent to which I needed healing at the start of the study. Walking through this program was truly life changing.

Testimony K.M. – Layers of Healing After Abortion

Posted on by Mindy L

5 years ago, the Lord convicted me of a deeply rooted wound. If you had asked me then, I would have said that I was fine with the abortion decision I made 18 years prior. That was FAR from the truth. The day of my conviction, the Holy Spirit took hold of me, and tore open the wound I didn’t even know was festering. Thus began my journey and healing. I began the Forgiven and Set Free study with Mindy and experienced what I would call “layers” being removed. With each layer, though painful, I found freedom and forgiveness. The study and most importantly, God, dug into the roots and made them clean. The study is rich with God’s word so you can stand firm in what you are learning and dealing with. Mindy is an excellent facilitator. She is dedicated to the task God has laid before her – being a vessel for Him to bring healing and salvation to those of us who so desperately need it.