Each year on October 15th, many women and families press pause on their busy lives to remember babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), ectopic pregnancy, and other reproductive loss stories. Many recognize the entire month of October as dedicated to this tender cause.
While abortion for anything other than medical reasons was often conspicuously absent from the conversation at some of these events, the dialogue has shifted to be more inclusive of reproductive loss of any kind, as we understand that losing a pregnancy through any means is a traumatic loss. Definitions have been expanded to include reproductive disappointment or reproductive grief, such as infertility from all causes, perinatal death, failed surrogacy, failed adoption, selective reduction, and abortion, whether spontaneous or induced. Regardless of the type of loss that any one organization may list on their website, if you have had an abortion, you are not disqualified. You have every right to grieve, remember, memorialize, and celebrate your baby. In a world that favors silence on the topic of abortion, mothers, fathers, and families are often left feeling that they cannot talk about their pain, their grief, their loss, or their babies.
Some organizations that hold observances are grief and bereavement groups, pregnancy centers, non-profits, churches and other ministries, online communities, and many more. Around the country and the world, remembrance services, memory walks, candle lighting ceremonies, and prayer vigils are held to give people the opportunity to recognize the sanctity of the lives of their children, whether alive on earth or gone to heaven.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month restores dignity to broken hearts and to those who feel that if they chose to terminate the lives of their babies, they have somehow terminated their right to love, to hurt, and to remember their lost children.
If you have experienced an abortion or abortions in your past but have carried your loss silently, in secrecy, and perhaps in shame, please give yourself time this month to check out some of these organizations. As the leaves fall this season, let your tears fall. Reach out to others through social media, prayer or support groups, abortion healing programs, or friends and family. Know that you are not alone. Millions of people carry invisible holes in their hearts for children they will never hold this side of eternity.
A woman who has an abortion is still a mother, as is the father who loses a child through abortion. Both deserve to grieve the loss of their motherhood or fatherhood and the dreams that never came to be. You are worthy, and your children are worthy of a day of remembrance, love, and honor. Healing happens when we take the time to feel the feelings surrounding reproductive loss.
To learn more about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, visit any of these helpful links to find in-person and online events near you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_and_Infant_Loss_Remembrance_Day