Abortion—a word that, when spoken, creates discomfort for most. Reading the word just now, how does it make you feel? If you are one of the millions of women who have experienced abortion, are you able to say the word out loud? Have you told anyone about your abortion or abortions? If not, please take heart because many women take this painful secret to the grave, carrying the weight of it alone, in silence, in secrecy, in shame. Countless women don’t begin to process their feelings about a past abortion for ten, twenty, or even thirty years or more. For nearly twenty years, I couldn’t.
Sharing your story with someone takes courage and can feel terrifying. Everyone’s talking about abortion on the news, but is there meaningful discourse in the smaller communities composed of our friends, family, neighbors, or coworkers, let alone our churches and faith communities? Unfortunately, the silence is deafening.
It is widely accepted that one in four women has experienced an abortion. Estimates hover around 73 million abortions performed worldwide every year, and this does not include unreported abortions.1 This equates to 200,000 abortions per day, impacting women, men, families, and society. This is a significant segment of the population moving through our communities. Have you found church a safe place to share your journey or seek healing resources? Are American pastors regularly talking about abortion and abortion healing resources? While friends and family have all met me with love and compassion, reflecting on my church experience over the last twenty-five years, the answer remains a resounding no.
Why is there a shroud of silence over the topic of helping people heal from the impact of abortion? We have excellent support groups and resources for divorce care, grief and loss, addiction recovery, feeding programs for the hungry, and much more, but why are so few churches and religious institutions willing to engage on the topic of abortion healing? I empathize with church leadership, as abortion is a difficult topic that is complex to navigate and may pose a risk that the church might be viewed as aligning with one side of the issue or the other. The heartbreaking reality is that when churches are silent on abortion, as many as four in ten women in the pews interpret the silence as an unspoken directive to keep their abortion a secret.2
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV) We have a real enemy who loves to keep people stuck in the bondage of silence, secrecy, and shame. Many women share that they felt pressure from society to have an abortion, only to feel abandoned and on their own to deal with any aftereffects. From a spiritual perspective, consider the times the devil whispers over people to participate in something tempting or potentially unsafe, but once someone has said yes, Satan quickly switches sides to become our accuser.
Once a woman has an abortion, it’s in the past. Judgment achieves nothing positive, while love and compassion are the surest way to help wounded hearts. Abortion often comes with unspoken consequences for the mother, father, and families for years to come. Post Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS) is recognized as a pattern of symptoms like PTSD that can affect many post-abortive women. Symptoms include depression, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, being detached or overly protective of future children, substance abuse, relational difficulties, and more. While I hope these symptoms aren’t familiar to you, please know you are not alone.
As Christians, we have the faith, hope, and love of a savior who died for all people and all sins. Accepting the forgiveness of God after an abortion can be incredibly difficult. Even if abortion-wounded hearts come to accept the forgiveness of our merciful Savior, many refuse to forgive themselves. From a biblical perspective, it’s essential to ask ourselves what’s fueling our resistance to forgive ourselves. Jesus approached the hurting, the broken, and the sinful with love and compassion. While he told them to repent and turn away, Jesus did not use shame.
“When church leadership is silent on abortion, as many as four in ten women in the pews interpret the silence as an unspoken directive to keep their abortion a secret.”
If you are considering seeking help from the pain or aftereffects of abortion, there are many books, websites, resources, retreats, and online and in-person classes available that are confidential and emotionally safe. I’ve been honored to meet with organizations around the world who are helping women and families find the peace and freedom that is possible through Christ Jesus. While the church may often seem silent on this tender topic, time and again, I see their hearts immediately pivot to compassion as soon as they are informed that someone is struggling and in need of help.
As a woman who had an abortion, out of the deepest pain in my life, God continues the redemptive work of allowing me to help other women find a safe and confidential community built on the acceptance, love, and healing modeled by Jesus. Let us be guided by what Jesus would do. He approached the hurting, the broken, and the sinful with love and compassion. At An Even Place, we are passionate about providing healing from the emotional pain of abortion through Bible studies and group support. With love, compassion, and confidentiality, our goal is to journey along with women as they move out of silence and shame and into the freedom found in the light of Jesus.
If you aren’t ready to take a class, please consider engaging our website at An Even Place. Our caring and trustworthy staff members can listen and help you take your next step toward healing and freedom. We care about you and are praying for your courage in the journey to renewed peace and joy.
Jenny Foster
1 https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/abortion
2 https://care-net.org/churches-blog/new-survey-women-go-silently-from-church-to-abortion-clinic/
