By Jenny Foster
Imagine five men meeting on Zoom for the first time. They have all joined an online healing group, but don’t know what to expect the first night of class. They are all from different backgrounds, but they have one thing in common, the deep wound of a past abortion where they were the father of the baby. It’s easy to imagine some initial anticipatory anxiety, awkwardness, and uncertainty, but this Zoom meeting starts with prayer. God is invited as the honored guest, and the Holy Spirit’s presence transcends time zones and technology, easing the initial tension. Soon the most extroverted participant shares and encourages the more introverted men to respond, and what happens over the coming weeks of class together becomes a miracle in progress.
This just happened in a recent abortion healing class for men, here at An Even Place. Two experienced and Godly leaders walked with these men through a weekly Bible study and healing curriculum called Reclaiming Fatherhood by Jill Marquis, Guy Condon, and David Hazard. All the men were at different places in their healing process. One was leading a healing class at a pregnancy center, and another was in the early stages of seeking a relationship with Jesus. The small group dynamic created a safe space for the men to open up, share, and be vulnerable.
Men are often forgotten in the abortion story. The decision to choose abortion is often left to women, but the loss of fatherhood affects men just as deeply as women. Men are not encouraged to share their grief, which can compound feelings of shame and secrecy. Abortion can impact every aspect of a man’s identity, from his self-worth to his ability to maintain functional intimate relationships.
One of the group leaders recounted how, over time, the men jumped in to help one another with compassion and grace. He was touched to hear that one of the men bought a Bible for another participant. In the fifth week of the study, one of the guys was really struggling, and the group co-leader spent time talking with him one-on-one, listening with compassion as he shared, “I don’t even know how to pray.” After helping the man discover that what was needed in his life was to surrender and relinquish control, that night he accepted Jesus as his Savior. Soon after, another one of the men in the group talked to his pastor about getting baptized.
“It’s so powerful to see where we started and where we ended after completing the class,” one leader recounted. During these life-changing evenings together, the men laughed, cried, and even had some fun. They were truly doing life together, and they even started a group chat to keep in touch.
The outcome of men’s groups like these is lives changed. As God’s Word, sound leadership, and forgiveness do their healing work, shame is replaced with forgiveness, and bondage is broken. Another season, another class, another group of men journeying together and finding freedom in the truth and grace of Jesus Christ. From the first week of class to the end, we see strangers become brothers. Brothers who sharpen one another to become healed and whole so they can operate more effectively in the Kingdom as fathers, husbands, sons, and future abortion recovery leaders. What a testimony to the goodness of our God!
If you know a man who walks with abortion wounds, please share this resource with them.
As an author and abortion recovery leader, Jenny Foster is passionate about meeting hurting hearts with love and compassion. She shares the hope and forgiveness found in Christ with those seeking healing and freedom. You can reach Jenny at jennyfoster@anevenplace.org.