, so loading this one earlier gives it first crack at the * original text. * - Do NOT combine this with data-calltrk-noswap on the same elements — * that attribute blocks the href swap entirely, which defeats the * purpose here. * * SCOPE: * - By default this applies to every `a[href^="tel:"]` on the page. * Narrow the SELECTOR below if you only want this behavior on specific * numbers (e.g. give those links a shared class like * `.static-display-phone` and use that instead). */ (function () { var SELECTOR = 'a[href^="tel:"]'; // Map of element -> original visible text, captured before CallRail swaps it var originalText = new WeakMap(); function snapshot() { document.querySelectorAll(SELECTOR).forEach(function (el) { if (!originalText.has(el)) { originalText.set(el, el.textContent); } }); } function restore(el) { var original = originalText.get(el); if (original && el.textContent !== original) { el.textContent = original; } } // Snapshot as early as possible, and again once the DOM is fully parsed // (covers elements that aren't present yet when this script first runs). snapshot(); document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', snapshot); // Watch for CallRail (or anything else) changing the link's contents. var observer = new MutationObserver(function (mutations) { mutations.forEach(function (m) { var node = m.target.nodeType === 1 ? m.target : m.target.parentElement; var anchor = node && node.closest ? node.closest(SELECTOR) : null; if (anchor) restore(anchor); }); }); function startObserving() { // document.documentElement () always exists as soon as parsing // starts, unlike document.body when this script is placed in . observer.observe(document.documentElement, { childList: true, subtree: true, characterData: true }); } if (document.body) { startObserving(); } else { document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', startObserving); } // Safety net: CallRail's swap can lag slightly after its script loads, // so double-check shortly after window load too. window.addEventListener('load', function () { setTimeout(function () { document.querySelectorAll(SELECTOR).forEach(restore); }, 1500); }); })();

Processing Your Partner’s Abortion Decision

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When your partner decides to have an abortion — whether or not you agree with that choice — you may find yourself walking through an emotional landscape that feels isolating and confusing. Maybe you supported her decision but are caught off guard by your own grief. Maybe you hoped to keep the baby but felt helpless in the face of her choice. Or perhaps you’re somewhere in the middle, grappling with conflicting emotions that feel impossible to sort out.

Whatever your situation, your feelings are real and deserve to be recognized. Men are often told they don’t have a right to grieve an abortion because it wasn’t their body or their decision. But that simply isn’t true. You’ve experienced a profound loss, and working through that loss is both valid and necessary for your healing.

Understanding Your Unique Position

When your partner decides to have an abortion, you find yourself in a particularly difficult spot. You’re profoundly affected by what happens, yet you may have had little or no say in the decision itself. This can create a tangled mix of emotions:

  • You might feel grief over the loss of what might have been — the child you’d begun to picture, the future you’d started to imagine. This grief is legitimate, even if the pregnancy was unplanned.
  • You may feel anger or resentment, particularly if you wanted her to carry the pregnancy to term. Being upset about lacking control over such a major decision is completely normal.
  • You could be wrestling with guilt or shame. Maybe you feel guilty for not speaking up more, for being unable to change her mind, or, conversely, for feeling relief that the pregnancy ended. Guilt and shame have a way of attaching themselves to abortion experiences from every direction.
  • Relief and sadness can exist side by side. You might understand rationally why the abortion happened, and even agree it was the right call at the time, while still mourning what was lost. These feelings aren’t contradictory — they’re part of working through a complicated situation.

The Silence Men Often Face

One of the hardest parts of processing your partner’s abortion decision is the silence around it. Society doesn’t always make room for men to talk about abortion, especially when it was their partner’s decision to make. You might feel like your grief doesn’t count, or that expressing your pain would somehow diminish what your partner went through.

This silence can leave you feeling cut off. Loved ones may not know what to say, or they may assume you’re fine simply because you weren’t the one who was pregnant. Their concern may go entirely to your partner. You might end up without anyone who truly grasps the unique position you’re in.

But here’s what we want you to know: your feelings matter too. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Navigating Your Relationship When You’re Still in It

If you’re still with your partner, the abortion may have created distance or strain between you. This is common, even in relationships where both partners agreed on the decision. A few things might help:

Recognize that you’re each grieving in your own way. Your partner’s experience of the abortion isn’t the same as yours, and that’s okay. She may be dealing with physical recovery alongside emotional healing. She may feel guilt, relief, sadness, or numbness — and those feelings may shift without warning. Give each other room to grieve in your own ways and on your own timelines.

Communication matters, but so does timing. While it’s important to share your feelings, pick moments when you’re both emotionally ready to listen. Try not to bring up your pain when she’s in the middle of her own struggle, and be willing to have several conversations over time rather than trying to settle everything at once.

If you disagreed with the decision, you may be carrying resentment. That’s understandable, but holding onto it will only deepen the wound. Consider whether staying in the relationship is healthy for both of you, and if you choose to stay, commit to working through the resentment instead of letting it fester beneath the surface.

Remember that healing together doesn’t mean healing the same way. You can support one another while also seeking individual support. In fact, having your own outlets for processing — whether through counseling, support groups, or trusted friends — can actually strengthen your ability to show up for each other.

If the Relationship Has Ended

If you’re no longer with your partner, you may be facing additional layers of complexity. You’re processing not just the loss of the pregnancy but also the end of the relationship, and the two losses may feel tangled together in ways that are hard to separate.

You might wonder whether the relationship ended because of the abortion, or whether the abortion simply brought existing problems to the surface. You may feel anger toward your ex-partner for making a decision that affected you so deeply. Or you might feel relief that the relationship is over, paired with guilt about that relief.

Give yourself permission to grieve both losses. Don’t rush yourself to “move on” or to feel okay before you’re ready. The end of a relationship and the loss of a child are both significant, and healing from both takes time.

Steps Toward Healing

Processing your partner’s abortion decision takes hard work, forgiveness, and grace — for yourself and others. Here are some practical steps that can help:

  • Acknowledge your loss. Don’t minimize what you’re feeling or tell yourself you have no right to grieve. You do. Whether or not you agreed with the decision, you lost something real, and that loss deserves to be mourned.
  • Find safe people to talk to. This could be a therapist, an after-abortion support group for men, a trusted friend, or a pastor or spiritual advisor. What matters is finding someone who will listen without judgment.
  • Be honest about complicated feelings. If you’re angry, say so. If you’re relieved but also sad, admit it. If you wanted the baby and feel like your voice didn’t matter, acknowledge that pain. Healing requires honesty, especially with yourself.
  • Consider your spiritual needs. Many men find that their experience with abortion stirs up deep spiritual questions. If you have a faith background, this might be a time to explore forgiveness — both receiving it and extending it to your partner.
  • Give yourself time. There’s no set timeline for grief. You might feel better for a while and then have difficult emotions resurface unexpectedly. That’s normal. Healing isn’t linear, and patience with yourself is essential.

You’re Not Alone

At An Even Place, we believe that everyone affected by abortion deserves support, compassion, and a path toward healing. That includes you. Your role in the abortion experience may have looked different from your partner’s, but your pain is no less real.

We offer support groups and resources specifically designed to help women and men work through their abortion experiences. 

Contact us to start your healing journey today.

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